Who to Put as a Personal Reference: A Guide to Choosing the Right People
Choosing personal references can feel daunting, but selecting the right individuals significantly impacts your chances of success in job applications, school admissions, or other situations requiring references. This guide will help you navigate the process and choose the best people to vouch for you.
What Makes a Good Personal Reference?
A strong personal reference is someone who can speak to your character, work ethic, and personality in a positive and credible light. They should be able to provide specific examples to support their claims. Ideally, they should:
- Know you well: This isn't just about casual acquaintances. The person should have observed you in various situations over an extended period.
- Be credible: Their background and position should lend weight to their recommendation. While not required to be a professional contact, their standing in their own community or field can help.
- Be positive and enthusiastic: They should genuinely believe in your abilities and be willing to speak highly of you.
- Be readily available and responsive: They need to be able to respond to reference requests promptly and professionally.
- Understand the context: They should know why you need the reference and what qualities are being evaluated.
Who Should You Ask?
The best people to ask for personal references often fall into these categories:
- Former supervisors or professors: Even if these are professional references, their insight into your work ethic and capabilities can be invaluable. Be sure to ask permission before listing them as a personal reference, as their perspective will likely lean more toward your professional skills.
- Long-term mentors or advisors: These individuals have likely witnessed your personal growth and development over time.
- Close friends or family members who know you well: While often overlooked, a close friend or family member who can provide specific examples of your character traits and accomplishments can be effective. Choose someone who can speak to your strengths and resilience. Avoid family members if you're applying for positions where objectivity is key.
- Volunteer coordinators or community leaders: If you've volunteered significantly, the coordinator can vouch for your dedication, reliability, and teamwork abilities.
Who Should You Not Ask?
- People you haven't spoken to in a long time: Your relationship may have faded, making a meaningful reference difficult.
- People who only know you superficially: Their opinion won't carry much weight.
- People who might give a negative reference (or even a neutral one): It's better to err on the side of caution and choose only those who will actively support your application.
- People who are unfamiliar with the context: Ensure they understand what is being assessed and what qualities are most important.
How to Ask for a Reference:
Always ask for permission before listing someone as a reference. Provide them with:
- Your resume or application: This will help them tailor their recommendation.
- The context of the request: Explain where you're applying and what qualities are being evaluated.
- Contact information for the recipient: This will help streamline the process.
- A deadline: Let them know when the reference is needed.
Preparing Your References:
Giving your references advanced notice and all the necessary information not only makes their job easier, but also dramatically increases your chances of getting a positive recommendation.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
H2: How many personal references should I provide?
The number of personal references needed varies depending on the situation. Check the application requirements or instructions carefully. Often, one or two strong personal references are sufficient, supplemented by professional references where appropriate.
H2: What if I don't have many people who fit the criteria?
If you lack suitable personal references, consider networking more actively or revisiting past experiences that demonstrate your character and capabilities. Think about volunteer roles, community involvement, or significant personal projects that showcase your strengths.
H2: Can I use the same personal references for multiple applications?
Yes, you can, but make sure to update your references on the context of each application, providing them with the necessary details each time.
H2: What should I do if a reference declines?
Politely thank them for considering your request and move on to another potential reference. Don't take it personally.
By carefully selecting and preparing your personal references, you significantly increase your chances of success in any endeavor requiring testimonials. Remember, quality over quantity is key. Choose people who genuinely know you and can confidently speak to your abilities and character.
